This is a rant - raising boys versus girls

 If you are not into reading a rant over raising kids stop reading.  This is a post that I felt strong enough after listening to a conversation that I had to write. 

Woman of two boys mad as son (adult 18) borrowed something and didn't return it. It was a pass to get over a bridge so inconvenient in the extreme the next day.  Texted him angry about it and him not returning it. Then said "boys just don't think of those things."  Boys don't think of "those" things.  Those things are respect for other people. Returning something you borrowed.  Boys just don't think of those things as well they are boys. Give them a pass.

I had to stopped talking as knew I wasn't being heard over respect and giving "boys" a pass. Daughters are not giving a pass over respect. There is an expectation for females to respect, return, take care, do the right thing.  I know I am over simplifying it but seriously?  Boys don't think of those things.  Hmm....

Maybe this is why we teach our daughters how to be safe. Watch your drink. Make sure you park where it is lite. Leave with friends. What are we teaching our sons?  Doesn't seem to be the default is "no" when forcing/raping a female.  All I hear is unless they "say" no it means yes. 

NO! the default should be everything is NO unless she says yes lets have sex. So if she is drunk, stoned, can't communicate effectively.  Mumbling yes to everything doesn't mean males can say oh that was a yes to sex. Oh passed out that is a  no also.  

You might think this has veered off topic over not returning his mother's pass but has it?  Boys don't think of those things?  Why not? Why are they given a pass when females are not?  Why aren't we teaching our boys to be respectful? 

This is 2021 almost 2022 why is it still a man's world?  Maybe the place to start changing course is raising males to be respectful and not giving them a pass. That the world is not theirs to manipulate and rule. Females are not their "play" thing.  

Yes to teaching our daughters to be safe and have critical thinking and be aware of the world and what is happening right around them.  Also raising our sons to know the default is "NO" all the time. That they don't get a pass because they are male. They still have to do the right thing.  Period.

It starts at home.  

Keep it local. Keep it close

 It is almost that time of year again.  Someone said today 10 more Saturdays until Christmas.  WHAT! I'm not counting and confirming but thinking yeah likely right.  Also we have been hearing about delays and shortages.  Mail early to get there on time - you know the drill.

Part of this can easily be taken care of if we shop local. If we support our local boutiques and artisans.  Search in Instagram for local pottery.  What about checking out small local shops.  Decide among family and friend to only buy and support local.  Seriously most of us have enough stuff and Amazon will be okay if we shop local. I don't want to hear local costs more blah blah blah.  Maybe it costs more because it is better quality and not mass produced. 

What about not purchasing something that has to come through the mail hence delays. Yes know family/friends away we have to mail items but come on there are enough people near us to purchase items locally that don't have to be shipped.

 Set a limit for gifts so less or no debt in January.  Purchase gift certificates for local restaurants or spas. A lot of artisans are not doing craft shows as anxious. Still a pandemic people.  Why not support people in our community.  Feel good about supporting local and being part of a solution.

So keep it local. Keep it close.  Check out artisans boxes in your area. Maybe start supporting a particular artist if you like their pottery.  How cool would that be to start collecting pieces!  We can make a difference in our community.  Keep it local.  Keep it close.

 

Fall or Halloween Decorating or both

 Decorating your home for fall and/or Halloween.  Debate is it the same or different?  Major problems here if we can debate this! lol.  We have a few opinions.  One is why are we decorating at all? We are putting that one aside.

Yes to fall decorating. Getting the fall candles out, the pillows and blankets. To adding those brown, rusts and orange colors to your home automatically warms it up.  Fall decorating can start right after Labor Day!  Few of us feel a tad too early could we not wait until at least third week of September. Fine. Whatever.

Debate came over Halloween Decorating - putting it out once October hits. Is it part of Fall decorating? A totally different theme? What?  Fall decorating can be done with no Halloween in sight.  Oh really what about pumpkins? Seriously? Are pumpkins just considered a Halloween thing or a fall thing? 

What about all our pumpkin spice! That is not associated with Halloween.  No, definitely not. Majority of us are not putting pumpkins in the Halloween category. Yes they can be part of Halloween but they are also part of Fall decorating period.

Friend has a beautiful collection of glass pumpkins she puts out in September until almost when her beautiful Christmas collection comes out.  There is no Halloween in site and it doesn't even cross your mind when you are in her home.  

So what do you think? Is Halloween decorating part of Fall decorating or it's own thing?  Majority rules here so, we are going with it's own thing. If you love Halloween do it (yes you can use the pumpkins, black cats, ghosts the works!).  Incorporate it into your Fall décor - why not? 

It doesn't have to be an either/or.  We are off to have pumpkin spice lattes and/or mulled cider.  Whatever floats the boat.